When I was young and lazy, as lazy as can be,
I said farewell to the mother-in-law and off I went to sea.
We sailed with Captain Skipper aboard the Mary Anne
And we all set sail down Collyhurst Road in a Black Maria van.
CHORUS: Oh, Collyhurst Road, I am forsaken,
And it's not that my poor heart is aching.
It's the whisky and the rum that I've been taking
For that charming little girl down Collyhurst Road.
Oh, we got as far as The Vine and the rain turned into snow.
The snow got in the engine and the engine wouldn't go,
So we wrapped ourselves in mainsails and stayed there for a year,
And all we had to bloody-well drink was a barrel of Boddie's beer. REPEAT CHORUS
Well, the law chased after me and they put me in Number Three.
They said you are a Collyhurst boy and you'll never get away from me.
They said the next time you go sailing, it won't be the Mary Anne;
Be down Collyhurst Road to Collyhurst Nick in a Black Maria van. REPEAT CHORUS
Oh, they're digging up my granddad's grave to build a sewer (a sewer)
They're digging up his remains
To put down Carsie drains
To satisfy the local residents.
Now all his life my granddad was no quitter,
And I don't suppose he'll be a quitter now.
He's dressed up in white sheets
To warm them toilet seats
And won't there be an awful bloody row!
There is going to be a load of constipation
There is goin' to be an awful bloody fight;
And it serves them Baskets right if they never have a shite
For digging up the British workman's grave.
REPEAT CHORUS PLUS LAST LINE TWICE
Sammy Moffatt from Collyhurst who works on Collyhurst Road for HMG Paints
38 Years Man and Boy