"Still have things to sort out" -- If you mean emotional things, then you have a bit of a problem. In this case, it seems to me they're not going to get sorted out by your phoning him. Face it, he's not going to talk to you about that kind of stuff, and you'll only make matters worse by harrassing him. Not to mention the fact that you're just setting yourself up to be hurt -- over and over again.

If there are business matters to sort out -- divvying up property, finalizing a settlement, that kind of thing, then force yourself to call ONLY when ABSOLUTELY necessary and confine yourself to those business matters. It's often better to conduct that kind of business by e-mail or snail mail, rather than telephone. Keeps a bit of distance, which you need to get used to.

The only reason I can think of for continuing to call is that you still harbor a hope, deep down, that you can get back together again. It ain't gonna happen. It really is necessary to face that fact once and for all. There's no point in denying the relationship/marriage happened -- it did, and it's part of your history, but it can't be re-created. Believe me, I know. I've been there. It took me a while to get past that glimmer of hope and start feeling anger instead. Much healthier in this circumstance, oddly enough. Even after quite a few years, I still have some curiosity about what he's doing, etc., but I sure as hell don't want him back, and have NO desire to talk to him.

Is there some kind of support group for separated/divorced people in your area? In the Washington DC area there's a very large and active organization called New Beginnings, which I found helpful for a while. Talking to other people in similar situations really does help. As does the passage of time.

Just resist picking up that phone!

Hope this helps,
Nancy