Z-Z, your lyrics top my first composition, a dramatic story-song played ina dramatic E minor with the dramatic opening:

"Perhaps it would have been better had he died at birth
Never seen the sunshine, never walked on earth"....

I was quite proud of it, however, I never succeeded in playing it all the way through. No one endured the whole song.

Of course the melody, chords, etc., all effect one's opinion as to whether a song is "good". Look at some of the lyrically stupid songs that have "made" it.

Keep writing, if that's what you desire...keep writing and then write more!

ken