My mom??? She's getting a little old for that, Clinton. LOL!

My God, what a place this is.....

Spaw, I think you should check out the health food stores in your area. My understanding is that you can get expandable magnetic bracelets and necklaces that will fit ANY size of dick, neck, or whatever. Even yours.

Also, go to a doctor, man, and ask him to teach you about basic anatomy. It's not too late to find out where your dick really is, and I think you're just a little confused.