Okay, I decided to simply play suicidally badly and see if it could checkmate me. I eventually ended up with a solitary king, facing a queen, 2 rooks, a bishop, a knight, a king, and several pawns. "Michael" could have checkmated me innumerable times, but seemed unable to summon up the determination to do so, preferring to advance pawns and queen them. Many, many moves later I was facing 4 queens (!), 2 rooks, a bishop, a knight, and a king with just one king. Still no checkmate.

His rooks for some reason were content not to bother joining the battle at all, when they could have nailed me in one or two moves. His knight also seemed to have decided to just sit and rest for awhile. The bishop and two of the queens made halfhearted and uncoordinated attempts to harass me.

I finally ended up in a situation where I was not in check, but couldn't go anywhere without getting into check.

Stalemate!!!!

I guess it IS impossible to lose to this chess program. Un-f*cking-believable.