I was content to just sit back and watch this, but recently my job title was changed from State Park Ranger to State Park Police Officer, and I have been advised that I must now act more professionally. None of the above justifies using my pistol or nightstick, however, my pepper spray (from cayenne peppers) probably qualifies as food, so watch your steps. (It's possible that Repaire's lutefisk justifies use of a gun to protect myself). I also have a brick of Tactical Police Scrapple, which has the benefit of hurting upon impact, then splattering, causing quite a mess. I'm qualified to use it, so: PUT DOWN THE FOOD AND BACK SLOWLY AWAY WITH YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEADS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!! NOW!!!

That's better.

Officer Steve