"When your dog comes into the room near to you, its gravitational pull is larger than that of all planets combined."

What if ya don't have a dog? Does my cat count? What if it's both of them at the same time?

"pure squidge..."
Nice word, squidge...

" I believe in nasal astrology."
It's very good to know that you're still in touch with yer inner 6-year-old, mate!