The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #89209   Message #1682533
Posted By: Cluin
01-Mar-06 - 03:08 PM
Thread Name: BS: Are women incapable of thinking in logic
Subject: RE: BS: Are women incapable of thinking in logic
Notice to All the Bank's Customers

Please note that the Bank is installing new "drive-through" ATM machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

To enable customers to use this new facility, the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e., MALE or FEMALE) and remember it when you use the machine for the first time.



MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Put window up
7. Drive off



FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse car to back up the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Set parking brake; put the window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Turn the radio down
6. Attempt to insert card into machine
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
8. Insert card
9. Re-insert card the right way up
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required
14. Check make up in rear view mirror
15. Retrieve cash and receipt
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Place receipt in back of checkbook
18. Re-check make-up again
19. Drive forward 2 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line behind you
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release parking brake