Please do put a church in my backyard-cause then you'd have to give me a backyard since I don't have one now! And make it a buggun, too.
Since I'm a Musician, then I could frequent the church & offer my "witness" as well as my considerable experience performing in churches for free-but of course I would expect a BIG "love offering!"
The rest of the time, my shades would be drawn & my doors locked & my phone unanswered.