I was acting in a murder mystery evening a couple of years ago and I was the murderer, which meant that I had to learn a confession speech for the end of the night. My identity was revealed and I stood up, acknowledged the applause and launched into it.

"Yes, I did it! I put a bullet through his black heart! Let's be honest - all of you wanted to do it, but you were all too SPINELESS!"

It was at this juncture I remembered I was adressing a benefit audience for a multiple sclerosis charity. Fortunately the audience saw the funny side, but the rest of the speech lacked conviction! Ouch!