one from James Gordon:


St. Patrick's Day

Look at that guy there, doesn't he take the cake?
The one yelling "Play The Black Velvet Band!"
He must be descended from one of those snakes
Old Saint Paddy drove from Ireland

Give him a green cardboard hat
And it makes him think that
He is King for a Day.
All his wasted years
Disappear in green beer
And he feels okay.

chorus:
Well I wouldn't be surprised
If his drunken dreams were realized.
Stranger things have happened on St. Patrick's Day

Okay, let's say, just for arguments' sake
That he's more than just a jerk in a bar
Underneath that polyester, he aches
Something has pushed him too far

And what does he think?
If he has enough drinks
Maybe things will change?
Suddenly
middle-aged
overweight
white guys
Will be the rage?

(chorus)

This loser-type guy
Wishes he could be Irish
For just one night.
All that shamrock luck,
He could drink it all up
And he'd be all right

(chorus)