It's clear from the replies here alone that there are as many different experiences of the menopause as there are women. As with all kinds of experiences and events in life, I think it's important to remember that just because something happened to one person in a particular way, it isn't necessarily going to happen to you (or your spouse) in the same way. Nothing, EVER, turns out exactly as you imagine it will.

I think different stages in life and the different cocktails of hormones which they entail suit people differently. As an example, some women find pregnancy a thoroughly wretched experience; others positively bloom and may get hooked on a pregnancy "high", wanting baby after baby. The vast majority, perhaps, fall somewhere between these two extremes.

I think the response to the menopause may depend on what the "normal" level of hormones is for a particular woman in her fertile years. My progesterone levels were naturally low: I needed progesterone injections to sustain a pregnancy. Whichever the hormone is (or whichever hormone is lacking) which makes you hairy, I had that in abundance from the age of 11, and my fertile years were spent waxing/creaming/shaving/electrocuting body parts too numerous to mention !

My own personal "normal" combination of hormones during the fertile years is the reason, I think, why the menopause has been absolutely fine for me, physically, with a few night sweats, but nothing more. In hindsight, I can see that emotionally I was rather volatile at times from the age of 45 onwards - but then, the age at which the menopause occurs is a time when women may have a lot of good reason to be volatile: awkward elderly parents, tetchy teenagers to contend with, etc.

From the age of 51 to 52 I had a year of my periods becoming less frequent and then, a year ago, my periods just stopped and I am feeling that fantastic harmonious balance that "Guest 2shy" described in her post. I feel I am properly "myself", for the first time in literally decades. It's wonderful.

To my great surprise and joy, I have become LESS hairy ! My legs, lower and upper arms are now lovely and smooth and there's a lot less "maintenance" to do on my face, too. That was a wonderful unexpected bonus of the menopause for me - I suppose, because of the particular cocktail of hormones in my body during my fertile years, which is no longer there. Neither have I experienced the extreme skin changes to dryness and suddenly increased wrinkles and drooping that you hear about (and see).

This stage in life seems to suit me, and it's as if my body has been waiting for it. "Every dog has his day", as they say, and it's rather a lovely feeling that the best has been saved until last. I hope it will be the same for you and your wife, "Guest Curious".