Now, now, ye of little faith:

       (Excerpt from) Champion At Drivin' Em Crazy

Well, a little while after, she says to me, "Pat,
I think that your whistlin' is making me fat."
And, a few months being over, she up and begat
A wee fellow, the image of me.
Well, at three weeks of age he could lilt a few tunes;
At a month he was batterin' on bodhran and bones.
And now he's the master of chanter and drones
He'll be champion at drivin' 'em crazy.

Well me wife she soon left us, and all in due course
For "musical cruelty" she got her divorce,
And despite all our vows of "for better or worse,"
I'm left all alone with the baby.
Well, he's Ireland's best piper by quite a long chalk;
His fiddling's unequaled from Sligo to Cork,
And, as soon as he learns how to walk and to talk
He'll be champion at drivin' 'em crazy.

Recorded by Robb- Hang the Piper