If it were only the young who were so affected it would be less of a worry, you could expect them to realise the folly of it as they matured. I worry about those of my own generation (50s) who exhibit the same symptoms.

As for any old ladies who are unwilling co-operate in our programme of enforced pavement reassignment we will introduce a bill providing for them to receive ASBOs. They will be tagged, and required to make themselves available for relocation and/or mugging at all times. They will also wear hi-visibility tabbards so that everyone knows who is failing in their duty to society. This scheme is, of course, entirely voluntary; they may prefer to surrender all future rights to care or pensions from the community, or they can emmigrate to South Georgia in disused cattleboats (which we are calling "The Third Way"), we do believe in choice. But we have a target for the elimination of recalcitrant pensioners, and we will not be diverted from it by silly sentimental considerations...Next year your Emperor will be in Moscow...

Hello Matron...Oh right, I'll come quietly...but not the Dunlop suite this time please, I'm strictly a Pirelli man these days.