Speaking of assholes, just thought I'd share an old family recipe with ya...

UNCLE FRED'S ASSHOLE PIE RECIPE   

6 fresh pigs' feet
6 lbs. assholes
2 lg. onions, chopped
1/2 head garlic, chopped
Sm. amount of green onion tops (a pinch will do)
A pinch of parsley

Boil pigs' feet and assholes until tender and remove all bones. Cook onions and garlic in 1 cup water until tender. Mix this into meat and add green onion tops and parsley. Cook about 5 minutes until water is boiled down. Pour into bowls and allow to gel.