w.l.d., I doubt my pastor-husband would agree to bigamy! :~)

Scoville, I am not characterizing anyone as a quitter. I'm just offering an alternate way one can think about the issues; what people choose to do with that is up to them, and not up to me to judge.


There were a lot of things I hated (and could not physically tolerate) about the way my own band was running. I took a bit of time off, during which time my co-leader and I had a lot of long talks about reorganizing some of the structures of who did what. He was better able than I had been, to motivate some needed changes. I came back to a much better situation (IMO for all concerned). If I had decided it on the basis of feelings that were perfectly well justified by the factors involved, I'd have missed a great opportunity to learn to work in a whole new way. I FELT like quitting, and I seriously contemplated not coming back. I'm glad I only took a break, and that the situation was such that I could do that.


Not all bands work by democracy-- our doesn't, although all members do share in making agreements. The reality of our band-- and I suspect many others-- is that without the acknowledged leaders, there would be no band. The other members are fine musicians, each in their own special way, but not all musicians are able (or willing in some cases) to do the work it requires to be a band.

~Susan