The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #1706548
Posted By: Rapparee
30-Mar-06 - 09:18 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Oh, hell, Amos. That fish was caught and cooked years back!

Demne was the son of Cumhail mac Art, a warrior killed before his mother gave birth to him. Fearing for her son's safety at the hands of her husband's killers, she sent him away to be raised by a woman warrior and druidess. They taught him first to be a hunter. When he raced and caught wild deer and brought them back to the women who raised him they decided it was time for him to learn the skills of a warrior.

Not long afterward, Demne came upon a group of boys playing hurley. For several days running he beat them single-handedly, first a quarter of the boys, then half, and finally the entire group. The defeated boys complained about their shameful defeat to their chieftain and at the chieftain's suggestion plotted to kill Demne. They attempted an attack in the water but Demne not only saved his own life but also drowned several of them.

Unable to avoid pursuit by his father's enemies, Demne decided to become a poet. A poet's status in the Celtic society was so high that being a member of that profession would shield him from harm. He took up study with a poet named Finneces who lived near the River Boyne.

The River Boyne was home to a magical salmon that ate nuts from a hazel tree and was known as the Salmon of Knowledge. A druid had foretold that whoever ate first of the flesh of that magical salmon would have knowledge of all things. After many years of watching the salmon, Finneces finally caught it and told his apprentice Demne to cook the fish.

A hunter and warrior Demne might have been but those skills would not protect him from the burning his thumb while the salmon was cooking. He sucked his thumb to ease the pain, thereby tasting the salmon. Demne told Finneces what had happened and his mentor decreed that the young Demne was the one intended to eat the salmon and changed his name to "Finn". Henceforth known as Finn mac Cumhail, he received three gifts that would make him a great poet: magic, great insight, and the power of words.

There were several pieces of The Salmon left, however, and these were gathered up and fed to other salmon and in this way the powers of The Salmon has been passed on over the generations. These fish are kept in a special pool of the River Liffey (WAAAAAAAAAAAAY upstream from Dublin!) and when the time is right are smoked and sent to Library Schools around the world. Each graduate of each school, having been Deemed Worthy to graduate is given a piece of this smoked salmon to eat -- and what happens is so wonderful that everyone that tastes of it craves both the taste of The Salmon and what it brings.

That's why the traditional graduate degree for librarians is called an "MLS". We've camouflaged the real meaning by telling everyone it means "Master of Library Science" but it really means "More Liffey Salmon."