I believe these ghastly events may be connected to the following correspondence:

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Gentlemen,

I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the
service on your line seems to be getting worse every day.
I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip.
I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by
people 2,000 years ago.

Yours truly,

J. Carroll

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Dear Mr. Carroll,

We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our
service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history.
The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.

Sincerely,

Larnrod Eireann.

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Gentlemen,

I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are
confused in your history.

If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will
find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your
train in the last two years!

Yours truly,

J Carroll