Jim,

I have taken no part in this thread before now. Neither have I made a single entry in the Dog and Glove thread that has not been under my own name. I would be interested to know therefore, who "you both" refers to. I would also be interested to know how you of all people could dare to criticise anyone else for making a spelling mistake! Since you are the one who commits most of the typos around here, presumably you invented the Pat MacKenzie contributions.

I can't speak for Geoff Wallis, who is your presumed other target, and I am not going to air my singing, song writing, academic and literary talents here. They are extremely modest, but they would bury you many times over. You are a monumentally mediocre singer, and you can neither play an instrument or write songs or compose melodies. Your literary abilities are considerably less than zero, your scholarship is a standing joke, and you haven't the foggiest idea how to compile a CD booklet. What's more, such reviews as you have attempted to write are ghastly beyond belief. In short you remind me of the Rugby Song, Why Was He Born So Beautiful.

None of this would matter except that you seem to have made a career out of attacking the public reputations of people who possess far more talent than you could ever dream of.

Let us get back to the Dog and Gun thread. It more or less began with a quote from you about the supposed origins of the song. Malcolm Douglas then corrected this, accusing you of laziness in the process. Well, sloppiness might have been nearer the mark, but you immediately and with no basis of substance whatsoever, accused him of being a friend of "Wallis and Grommit". (Momentary aside. Jim Carroll's e-mail talks disapprovingly of "snide name calling". In fact, Jim Carroll has had the childish habit of inventing silly nicknames for everyone he disapproves for as long as I have had the misfortune to know him.)

You then launched into a series of unprovoked attacks on Geoff Wallis and I, initially as Bemusedpunter. When Geoff mistook your fatuous drivellings for Tom Munnelly, you invented a character whom you called "Mary". (Lovely Mary, the cross dressing sailor ?) The sheer stupidity (EG., "Oh Fred, I do love it when you talk dirty!") of these attacks merely show the depths to which you have sunk, but I do wonder how you of all people can complain about snide name calling, and of people wading in a sewer which you yourself have made. Tell me Jim, what is it about the phrase "big league" which gets so far up your nose ? Is it simply that you can't find anything more substantial to attack me with ?

I shall leave Geoff to defend himself, something he is more than capable of doing. However, the string of charges you have been making for the past five and a half years, about my review of The Songs of Elizabeth Cronin, were totally untrue and have been discussed at length in IRTRAD and Musical Traditions. Your accusations are entirely malicious and completely without foundation.

What's more, that review appeared only a matter of months after my work on The Road From Connemara was completed, and my article on the radio ballads was published. Before venomously accusing me of writing a pompous, arrogant and opinionated review (by God, Jim, you want to take a good long look at yourself before using those three words about anyone.), and of rubbishing Daibhí Ó Croinín's work for my own ends, did it ever occur to you to make the slightest acknowledgement of those projects. Did it occur to you to credit the fact that I had made public an important body of songs and singing which had remained hidden from view for almost forty years, or the fact that my efforts resulted in the publication of what is possibly the most important and insightful interview of a genuine folk artist ever - all five hours of it ?

Have you even bothered to read the Internet introduction to the Joe Heaney interview ? (http://www.mustrad.org.uk/articles/heaney.htm#intro) Well since you haven't I'd better tell you that it contains what is as far as I know, the only concise analysis of MacColl's ideological and theoretical perspective on folksong that has ever been published. Of course, you could have done the whole thing so much better, couldn't you Jim ? What a pity you let those recordings languish for all those years.

To think there was once a time when I was foolish enough to believe you had something to offer. I am no fan of Oliver Cromwell, but for once I find his words to the Long Parliament extremely apt. "You have sat too long for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!" And take your half baked string of half understood MacCollisms with you.

Get a life Jim, and a sense of humour.

Fred McCormick, who has no need to hide behind a woman's skirts.