There was this Englishman went on holiday to Ireland, staying in a bed and breakfast. He asked the man he was staying with to tell him a place to get a drink. "There's this pub over there - you should love it."

So he goes in, and copmes back not at all happy. "I went in there - it was a miserrable placwe with a big jukev=box pthat wouldn't work, stale sandwiches, and the beer was off. And the barman was a grumpy old devil who complainwed when I askwed for change for a fiver. Why did you ever say I'd like it?"

"Well that's strange - I was told it was an English Theme Pub."

Ickle Dorritt, you've been going to too many English theme Pubs.