Bobert, you are probably just going to have to play the odds. Chances are greater that they won't be jerks than that they will be. Even people who AREN'T jerks can be problematic neighbors. And Jerks who love their privacy can be the perfect neighbor for you.

We own ten acres with an old house and a barn out in the country north of here. My spouse spends a lot of time out there--it's his refuge. 5 years ago a jerk with money bought the land across the road, built a huge house that looks out over everything, started feeding stray dogs that turned into dangerous pack animals, and was generally intrusive.

Hubby tried to deal with it cordially, which is hard for him--he ain't the cordial type.   When that didn't work he got up in the guy's face a few times, literally foaming at the mouth, called animal control, posted no trespassing signs every 25 feet, and planted a screen of Cedar and Virginia Pine all along the road frontage.

The Jerk doesn't come on the property or mess with the Jerk across the road on our place at all anymore.

Or...you could try farting AND wearing the Groucho Marx glasses that six described.

No, no. You don't have to thank me. Just glad to be of any help I can:O?

Janie