another great adaptation of Geoff Mack's I've Been Everywhere.

lyrics found online...found MP3 at Mad Music site...

can't vouch for accuracy of all lyrics...

I Ain't Goin' Nowhere
(Geoff Mack/Rick Moranis)

I never go nowhere, man
I never go nowhere
Traffic's bad out there, man
I'm savin' wear and tear
I like conditioned air, man
And I never go nowhere

I go Upstairs, downstairs, backyard, lawn chairs
Living room, bathroom, bedroom, furnace room
Hot-tub, cedar deck, build a fire, washer/dryer
Pantry, patio, Bartiromo video Cold cellar
rec room, ping-pong, mah jongg
Beer count wearin' thin, speed dial, Order in

I ain't goin' nowhere, man
I ain't goin' nowhere
It's dangerous out there, man
Might 'a been a big bomb scare
Hard to get off of this easy chair
I ain't goin' nowhere

I go Online, dsl, amazon, buy and sell
Ebay, layaway, last bid noon today
Plasma, Judy Judge, broadband, Matt Drudge
J Crew, B&N, dotcom, CNN
JPEG, e mail, pop-up she-male
Shower cam, filter spam, slam bam, I think it's ma'am

I ain't goin' nowhere, man
Never gonna go nowhere
It's a bungled jungle out there, man
Some kid got mauled by a bear
Surround sound in my own lair
I ain't goin' nowhere…

I got Perimeter, motion, doggie door, mail call
Peep hole, Avon, wireless, strobes on
PIN Code, keypad, relay, pepper spray
Homebase, interface, three-zone, plug 'n play
Infra-red, photocell, squad car, decibel
Choppers up, sonic boom, Activate the panic room

I'm on Ritalin, Coumadin, Zantac, Lipitor
Diazepam, Nexium, Prevacid, Percocet
Levitra, Levaquin, Elavil, Fosomax
Plavix, Keflex, Next day Fedex
Zithromax Avalox, Flexeril, Topomax
Prozac, Ativan, Aderol, I take 'em all

I ain't goin' nowhere, man
Never gonna go nowhere
I'm cuttin' my own hair, man
Nothin' I need out there
Outside sunny but inside [cheer - chair?]
I ain't goin' nowhere