First, Ron, allow me to laugh at us. You often mention how you are out several nights a week practicing music, often not getting back until very late. Your posts on here are often after midnight. I often mention how many times I am out singing in one week. Let's see... I sang last Friday, had practice up here on Saturday, had practice on Monday night, cancelled doing a program/service at a nursing home on Tuesday because of my cold and went to another practice Wednesday night. Why is it that other people can't see that they're trying to do too much. Please permit a large GUFFAW! here. I think the truth is, Ron, anyone worth their salt does too much. It's not just the inability to say no. It's seeing something that needs to be done and stepping up and doing it. When I think of the people I most value in my lifem they're ALL like that... And so are we, Ron. And I suspect so are Ebbie and Freda and many others who we respect and enjoy. The catch is when you start destroying your own health by taking on more than your body or spirit can handle. It sounds like what Jan is doing. It's what my dear friend Joe has done most of his life, what my dear friend Willie C does, and my brother-in-law Irving and his wife Sarah do. It goes beyond not knowng how to say "no." It's a lack of concern for their own health. With some, like Joe, he took himself down by pushing his body endlessly after he had fallen and severely injured his back. He reached a point where he was in such pain where he couldn't stand up or even walk across a room. He ended up having serious back surgery and many months of recuperation. He's finally learned his lesson. Kinda. He does take better care of himself, and while it kills him to say "no" sometimes he does, now. But it took him completely breaking down to at least partially learn his lesson. I could give many other examples and unfortunately, it seems like it has taken a serious breakdown of health before there was a change in life style. Hopefully, Jan won't go that far.

I see my good health as a gift. I feel that I am responsible for taking care of it. I wouldn't buy a new sports car and never service the engine. And yet people do that all the time, with their bodies. Unfortunately, if we run our bodies into the ground, we can't go get another one. Not yet, at least. There are times (like this week) where I cancel a commitment to take care of myself. I figure that if I don't respect my body, it's not going to be available when I want to help someone.

All of this is the flip side of a wonderful quality in people... the desire to help others in an unselfish way. All of the people I respecdt and love most have that quality... humility and a desire to serve others out of love. It's a matter of helping people to understand that if they don't care for themselves first, they will not be able to care for others. People forget the second half of the golden rule"Do unto others AS YOU DO UNTO YOURSELF." Don't mean to yell, but I don't know how to underline or italicize. If you want to give love, or help others, you have to first love and take care of yourself. You can't do much for others if you[re flat on your back in a hospital bed.

If Jan really wants to help others, encourage her to be loving and caring of herself and her own body, first. Then she can have a long, loving, giving life of service. And only then.

Jerry