"in order to avoid taking responsibility"

I take full responsibility for acting like a total insensitive arsehole (and thoroughly enjoying it in those circumstances) in the circumstances I have described. In OTHER circumstances, should I go off the rails, I am not perfect and will eventually be remorseful and apologise.

I have discussed this at length with those more experienced professionally, and the response has been mostly along the lines of "If you are in control of what you are doing, and it keeps YOU out of a straight-jacket, or running around with a shotgun, then it seems a perfectly rational and reasonable way to behave".