The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #90294 Message #1719946
Posted By: beardedbruce
17-Apr-06 - 12:32 AM
Thread Name: BS: Poetry about Mudcat
Subject: RE: BS: Poetry about Mudcat
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell - PM Date: 16 Apr 06 - 11:44 PM
It was on the train to the Big Twelve Grand Where the children of MOAB took their stand. They had to stand for they could not sit 'Cause the place was hip-deep in bullshit.
Now Amos Jesup was the engineer Of that train a-headed for nowhere. With his steely eye and his bulldog jaw He looked a lot like your mother-in-law
And the fireman was named Kid Rapaire A bookworm with a quiet stare And the quickest "OVERDUE" stamp in the west And a forty-four beneath his vest
On lookout was Stilly River Sage A stalwart gal by any gauge A crack shot with an old six-shooter And hell on a laptop computer.
And among the passengers on that train Was Mmario and Bunnahabhain, And Rustic Rebel, a guy named Giok, And khandu, Tweed, and Little Hawk.
And in the back, in the caboose, Was Bee-dubya, sometimes known as Bruce. The janitor upon that train An idjit with just half a brain.
Now the train was hummin' down the track Bullshit a-blowin' from its BS stack When Stilly cried "What's that ahead? It looks just like Flamingo Ted!
That thief of posts of even hundred!" But then it was Rapaire's gun thundered And Ted was gone, his ass was toast, He'd never steal another post..
And Amos poured upon more coal For up ahead he saw the goal The twelve-thousandth holy MOAB post But then he turned white as a ghost!
For on the tracks there stood a fellow A tub of lard with eyes of yellow A talentless blob wrapped in fat And Amos cried, "It's Bill the Shat!
The scourge of all in MOABland, ('Cept Little Hawk, Shat's biggest fan.)" And once again Rapaire's gun sounded And off the tracks that Shatner bounded.
And the MOAB train it blew right by It spit BS in Shatner's eye. The passengers began to cheer The Big Twelve Grand was getting near!
But would they reach that hallowed ground Without some jackass coming 'round And as a joke, a goof, a whim Taking that holy post from them?
We'll know in just a few more posts And then we can sit back and coast 'Til thirteen-thousand comes around Or Max decides to shut us down.