Drain off the juice the anchovies are packed in and soak two slices of soldatenbrot in it (if you don't have enough juice, press the anchovies through a sieve). When the bread's good and sodden on one side, pout the juice from a tin of oil-based sardines on the other (again, press the sardines in a sieve if you don't have enough oil). Heat up a skillet nice and hot, and melt some lard. Carefully place the bread slices in the lard and fry until crispy (on both sides, dummy!). Remove the bread to a plate and pile fetid cheese on one slice and cover it with the other slice.

Butter both sides of the sandwich, sprinkle with sugar, and enjoy!