My mother, who used to work as a clerical officer at the York District Hospital, told me the story of a man in working clothes who wandered into Casualty Reception, went to the nurse on duty, and announced, "Ah've got t'gravel."

The nurse told him to sit down and ran to fetch the houseman (junior doctor). The houseman asked what the problem was, and was told, "Ah told t'lass ower there. Ah've got t'gravel".

The registrar and senior registrar received the same reply. Finally a consultant surgeon asked what the symptoms were. "Symptoms ?", he replied. "Ah keep tryin' to tell thee. Ah've got this lorry load of gravel outside. Where do you want it put ?"