I would despair of saving you, Amos, except that my faith is in the Lord. You can be saved, you WILL be saved. I have saved hundreds, nay, thousands, many who were worse off than you. I remember one young woman who was steeped in sin, who not only fornicated but poisoned herself with vile liquor! Yes! And she smoked tobacco! And I preached the gospel to her, night after night, and finally she saw the Saving Light and accepted her savior! She has given over her sins; she no longer smokes or drinks, but she goes about doing good and I still counsel her every week after services. Amos, you too can be saved! Confess your sins, for YOU are a sinner and you cannot deny it! Set just one foot on the road to Salvation and you WILL be saved! You too will arise when the Rapture takes the Elect into the Bosom of the Lord! I implore you, do not pass this chance by! You could die in your sleep, sodden with your sins, and go spinning down into the Flames That Water Cannot Quench, the Eternal Flames that will consume you from the inside out! It will not cost you one thin dime, but the saving water is freely given! Afterwards you will WANT to give so that others can be saved as you were! Come Amos! Come Rapaire! Come Bunniehole! Come, Little Hak! Come, SRS! Come to the water that washes you clean, body and soul!