One day, everyone got bored with being everywhere on time, so they made life more excitring by inventing the bus. Now, everyone could go along crammed together, or sometime no-one, as the bus was early so, nobody caught it, or maybe it would decide just not to stop, as it's cold and wet so those people really should stand around until the next one to enjoy it properly.

The very first busses were driven by Buzzards, and our word for Bus driver has descended from this root and has settled into its modern form, Bastards.

Of course this was before the revolution, when all the Bastards were given the choice of actually doing their job properly, or being placed on a diet consisting entirely of thistles and live hedgehogs...