Cook the meat with tomatoes (tinned is fine), whole kernel corn (maize), onions, and other stuff like that. Season it up with salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, and garlic.

Serve it with a good bread and good butter.

Turtle meat is supposed to taste like beef, veal, pork, chicken or fish, depending upon what part of the turtle the meat came from. Be sure that the turtle is large enough to be worth butchering -- those little ones from the store you shouldn't bother with.

My brother Ted once caught a big ol' snapping turtle. Took it home and kept it in clean water and fed it corn meal for a week. Next weekend brother Tony came over and they decided to kill the turtle for soup. They tried decapitating it and every time they'd swing the ol' axe the turtle'd pull in its head. Finally they got a .22 rifle and were going to shoot it the next time it pushed its head out. So there they are, standing in the backyard over a turtle, aining a rifle at it, when the neighbor, a cop and a parole office, pulled into his driveway. My brothers had some explaining to do. Beer may also have been involved. The turtle was finally released into the Mississippi River, uninjured but well fed.

Drunk walked into a pub, picked up the darts, and threw three perfect bull's eyes. Bartender told him he'd won a prize and gave him a little turtle. Two weeks later the same thing happened, and bartender told the drunk he could have his pick of prizes. Drunk said, "I won something the las' time, can I have it agin?" Bartender asked what it was, and the drunk replied, "I dunno, but I think it was a sandwich on a really hard roll."