Sparrin At the Claes
Or, Jack Henderson's Mistake.
Teun-"Absolam and Ruth."

Jack Henderson had a real randy wife,
As randy as ony can be,
Ne seuner the word then the blow wi' her,
An' often she myed Jack flee,
Till one neet he went an' got mortal drunk,
An' stagger'd quite bravely hyem.
Says he,"Aw'll knaw whe's the maister noo,
Or Henderson's not me nyem."

Korus.
Jack Henderson's blud rose up tiv his nose,
An' he thowt tiv his-sel he wes sartinly reet,
"Te be maistor an' lord when he fund bed an' board,
An' if his life wes soor, that hers shuddent be sweet!"
An' aw'll tell ye all aboot Jack's mistake,
Throo getting se tight that neet!

The drink he had had flew up tiv his heed,
An' teuk greet effect on his eyes,
He nivvor luckt strite, but that neet he saw
Quite dubil, te his surprise.
His wife wes I' bed when he got te the hoose,
An' her claes hung behint the door.
He luckt at the dress-"Oh, yor there! says he,
He had tyekin the claes for her.

"So Mistriss Henderson, that's where ye are!"
Says Jack te the claes agyen,
"Ye've been meant te nail us when aw com in,
But ye'd got the warst on't then,
For aw've com hyem detarmin'd te let ye see
Aw's the lord an' maistor here,
So put up yor hands when aw call oot Time!
Aw'll seun gie yor lug' what cheer!"

Jack Sparr'd at the claes wi' the science o' Mace,
"Cum on, Peggy lass!" says he,
"Aw'll gie ye the hoose an' all in't te yor-sel,
If this time ye maistor me!
Are ye not gawn te speak? Then, ye slut, tyek this!"
Wi' that he let byeth hands flee;
Reet smack on the door his knuckles went bang,
"Yor byens is dam'd hard!" says he.

The noise myed his wife lowp oot ov her bed,
Then Jack saw his greet mistake;
They byeth wired in, without seconds or ring,
Till they myed the whole hoose shake;
They byeth got eneuff, neither wun or gov in,
An' as they rol'd on the floor,
The row ended like married foaks' silly rows,
Wi' byeth axin "What it wes for?"

-Joe Wilson