Kickin The Deevil Doonstairs!

Teun-"The Suit O' Corduroy"

One neet aw went upstairs te bed
Te hev a quiet snooze,
For awe wes fairly tired oot,
Me eyes show'd they'd refuse
Te keep open ony langer,
So byeth aw gently closed,
An' there aw lay awhile asleep,
An' innocent reposed!

Korus
Listen te me story, strange as it may seem,
And Nick iv his glory, aw pummil'd iv a dream

At last aw sees a figgor dark
Gan slawly roond the room,
Then cum reet up te maw bedside,
An' calmly there sit doon;
At forst aw cuddent myek't clean oot,
But haddent lang te wait,
Till aw fund it was the devil
Cum te proffissy me fate.

Says he, "Are ye prepared te gan?
Ye've sarved us noo se lang,
An thowt aw might as weel call in
For feare owt might be wrang.
Aw like te tyek care o' me bairns,
An' so aw wish them hyem,
They enjoy thor-sels forst-rate belaw,
An' ye can de the syem!"

Says aw, "If yor aud Nick, me man,
Ye'd better gan away,
For if aw want te vbisit ye,
Aw'll let ye knaw sum day,
But if it myeks ne difference,
Aw heh ne noshunm yit,
If ye want te knaw the reason,
The weather's ower het!

Says he, "Young man, don't cod yor pa!"
Says aw, "Thor's ne paws here,
For its nowt but ded an' fethur,
Roond a' the Tyne an' Wear."
He rapt his tail reet roond me waist,
Says he, "Young man, here goes!"
But te let him see aw'd science,
Aw nail'd him on the nose.

Ye mebbies think this wes a dream,
A divvent say it's not,
But aud Nick iv a' his life-time
Nivvor felt it se hot.
Aw got him be the scruff o' the neck,
An' whether i' fun or fairs,
An;' whether it wes a dream or not,
Aw kickt him reet doonstairs!

-Joe Wilson