She Once Wes A Sprightly Young Fairy.
Teun-"Nanny's ron away wiv a Sowljor."

It's nearly twenty eers since aw married Mary Green,
She wes a fairy on the stage, byeth smart an' neat;
She fairly teuk me fancy in the transformation scene--
Noo me wife's the sootiest wummin i' the street.

Korus
She once wes a sprightly young fairy,
Maw cumley aud wife, bonny Marey;
Aw've seen her on her toes,
Turnin up her little nose,
Like a queen, when she danced as a fairy.

But twenty eers ov married life brings changes tiv us a',
An' myeks us really wundor what we'vee been;
There's Mary, iv her bedgoon, sittin knittin I' the Raw,
Full twice the size ov ony fairy queen.

She once wes small an' slender, wi' such bonny little feet;
Her skin wes white, wi' cheeks like ony rose;
But noo she's like a tripe-wife, ay, the fattest in the street,
An' the redness all seems sentor'd in her nose.

Aw thowt her just a spelk, but the best that ivor graced
A stage, wi' fairy motion, in each act;
But noo aw heh ne notion o' the real size ov her waist,
For aw cannet spanned wi' two airms-that's a fact.

Aw wundor what the foaks wad think if they cud see her noo,
She's just like the champein o' the heavy-wites;
She'd astonish thor weak nerves, ay an' myek them a' luck blue,
Te see a fairy, twenty styen, dresst up i' tights!

-Joe Wilson