Love song to a cow (from memory):

Amazingly Agnes by Stackridge circa 1972

She was fond of Renoir
And tasting Spanish wine
Looking after children
She memorised every line
Hanging up her stocking
For Santa Claus to sign
Oh, how I wish she cold be mine
Once I ... did ...

Handcuff my ankles to Number 10 Downing Street
Claiming I was Winston Churchill
This mild schizophrenia
Makes my chances leaner
Of sharing her shed.

Frequently admonished
For losing every job
I was feeling weary
My legs about to drop.
Then I saw her mother in law
Displayed in a butcher's shop
Oh, how my weakened heart did throb
Once I ... did ...

Swallow three volumes of encyclopaedia
Spouting such vast erudition
This wild bibliomania
Just makes my head vainer
And lessens my chances.

Sometimes there are moments
When fate treats us so cruel
Lamenting in the pig sty
I sat down on my stoo-el
Agnes, you're the nices cow
This side of Timbuktu;
Why was I born to be a mule?
Not even a bull?
Now Agnes I feel such a foo-el

La, la, la, la, la-la foo-el
La, la, la, la, la-la foo-el
La, la, la, la, la-la foo-el
La, la, la, la, la-la foo-el
La, la, la, la, la-la foooooooooo-el!