Guest, You are translating from English to Italian, right?

I think it's a very good translation overall but I see some things I believe need to be fixed. I'm not a native Italian speaker so there may be errors. Also, I apologize because the comments below are in such a disorganized, prosy format. My husband told me about this thread and I just couldn't resist taking a look, but it's a bit late and I need to stop now! (Editing always takes me longer than writing I'm afraid.)

BTW I started working on this before Bob Bolton posted his message so decided I would just finish it and post it. Bob, maybe you could send my comments on to your friend as well?

Guest, What is the source of the poem? Would you be willing to tell us why you are translating it into Italian? It's a fascinating poem and quite a challenge to get it across in another language.

- Rita Ferrara

* In the first stanza, " Quello che scegliamo non conoscere" means Choose to know in the sense of, not to recognize, or admit to acquaintance with (as, for example, a person). "scegliamo non sapere" means "choose not to know [know about something, know a fact]." Your choice.

Suggestion:   Quello che scegliamo non sapere,

* For "a leader dies," which you translated as "una guida e morire," consider two possible changes. First, "una guida" means the leader of, say, a tour or a girl scout troop, I don't think it means a political, philosophical or religious leader. "Capo, "Conduttore," or "maestro" might be better than guida. Second, the construction "una guida e morire" isn't any grammar I recognize. "e morto" means "has died." "Va morire" means "is going to die." Mori' means died -- I believe. So, consider translating it as:
        Suggestion: Uno capo e` morto

* "le foschie di tempo stanno separando"   To me "separando" refers to things like strands of spaghetti, discrete things that can separate from one another. Try "si stanno separando," which literally means they are separating themselves.
        Suggestion:   le foschie di tempo si stanno separando

* il fatto che siamo infranta: My big old (1930's?) Italian-English dictionary says "infrangere" means "to infringe," or "to break in pieces," or "to violate" and "infranto" means broken, infringed, violated, as a treaty or a contract. You can use "infrangersi," which would read like this: Or consider "si rompere," a more common word for breaking:         

        Suggestions: il fatto che ci siamo infranti, ("we have been broken.")" or Il fatto che ci siamo romputi

* " Vediamo il brutto" - means "we see the ugly." Bruttezza is ugliness, just as bellezza is beauty.
        Suggestion:   Vediamo la bruttezza

* " Verdere... è instinto." This is just a typo: "To see" is "Vedere"
        Suggestion: Vedere... è instinto.

* " Uccidere... è tutto troppo semplice," "is all to easy": tutto here gives the sense of "all of it [killing] is too easy." This is definitely the wrong idiom but I don't know exactly what to use. You could try "much too easy," but I don't think you can say "molto troppo semplice" either. You could try "affatto" which means all in the sense of "quite, entirely."
         Suggestion: Uccidere... è affatto troppo semplice.

* " Prosperare... è attribuire troppa imortanza" I think this construction is incorrect gramatically. consider using "Stimare troppo," "Esteem too much," which is a translation for to overrate.
        Suggestion:   Prosperare... è attributo troppa importanza"
         or better:   Prosperare ... e` stimato troppo

* " per essere nato è il più grande promettre
di in punto di morte." There are a couple of problems here. You need "perche," "because", not "Per," "for"; and also "Garantia" or "promessa" means "guarantee." "In punto di morire" describes someone who is dying right this minute, which not what you mean here.
        Suggestion:   
        perche' essere nato è il più grande garantia [promessa]
        di morire.

Okay, I'm going to post this before I manaqe to lose it, and then post the translation with my suggested changes so you can see what you think.

- Rita F