Can't help you much with the your questions. Well, question number two I can... it's a phallic symbol. It helps men feel mighty when they wear a boring old suit. Plus they get to make a statement with the kinds of ties they wear. Helps them to feel all individual-like.

But on the subject of your problem... maybe you should get your dad to make a video of himself tying one, and then you can have him tell you how to do it without having to call him.