If you want to get to mudcat,
Let me tell you how to do it:
Gotta grease that mouse in a little mutton suet,
Slide right out of the keyboard's hand,
And ooze right over in the Mudcat Land,
Go easy. Make it easy. Not sleazy.

Standin' in the corner by the Union thread,
Watchin the words click past unread;
He oiled his tongue with a little mud grease,
Went slippin' up and down that mudcatpiece.
Huntin' threads. Stray posts. Chewin' it over. Left overs.

Make up the beds, gal, make 'em up nice,
Clean out the house, and chase out the mice,
By the kitchen table, and set it up right,
'Cause old Jerry R's gonna be here tonight.
And Ron. Loves cakes. Loves the music, too.

Standin' on the corner, standin' like a man,
Standin' on the corner was a Chongo man.
Standin' on the corner a banana in his hand
Waitin' for summin from the Shatner man.
'Lasses. Sweetlin' potatoes. Cold biscuits.

Down in the wildwood, singin with a bird,
My finger on the keyboard and my eye on a word.
I pressed that trigger and the post said "blip,"
Jumped on that thread with all my grip.
Ears' a mud eye. not a fly by.

Behind the chatroom the other night
It was awful dark and I had no light.
And Sorcha's dog run out by chance
And he bit a big hole in the seat of my pants.
I jumped gullies. Robe bushes. Plowed ground. Felt funny.

Behind the MOAB on my knees
I thought I heard a catspaw sneeze;
Only Ol Amos talkin' his prayers
And givin' out hymns to that Bush upstairs.
Just preachin'. Hens a-singin'. Little young chickens just a-hopin'...