To be sung in a heavy Mockney accent, from the singing of Rory Heap about 1972:

It's all for the love of a fair young maid
What in Camden Town did reside.
Meself, I lived in Clapham,
What was a one-and-fourpenny ride.
But there was a fly in the ointment,
As soon you will perceive,
For though I loved her oh-so-well,
She loved a Portuguese.

One day i saw them out together
And I opened my mouth to speak,
But what I saw before me eyes
Made me shut me gob right quick.
For there they was a cuddling
And a snogging and a holding-of-hands,
And there he was a-seducing of her
With pints of babycham.

Now he was a nasty piece of work,
Gonzales was his name,
And there he was a dabbling
With the honour of my dame.
So I resolved to do him in
Even though it was a sin,
Cos I don't like Portuguese in general,
And in particular I didn't like him.

So I follows him to his lodgings
Down in Millwall, thereabout,
And I takes him down this alleyway
And I turns him inside out.
And I muttered jealous oaths, and things,
As I punched him black and bluer,
Then I opens up this manhole cover
And I bungs him down a sewer.

Well, when our Flo she heard the news
She made my poor life hell,
So just for the sake of some peace and quiet
I done her in as well.
And now I'm up before the beak
To pay for my crime.
He says "I don't like what you done first off, young man,
But I'll forgive you the second time."

Now, love and jealousy is dangerous passions
And I shouldn't have intermixed 'em,
But because I was not sensible
I'm languishing here in Brixton.
And it's all for the love of a fair young maid
What in camden Town did reside,
Yes, it's all for the love of that fickle young thing
I got fourteen years inside.

Nice to see it survived the Dun Laoghaire ferry.