No, I can't, but physcians continually threaten me: with their "Eat right." "Exercise more." "Don't drink." "Don't smoke."

Why, I damned near froze last winter! I took their advice and the alcohol level of my blood fell so low that the blood prit near froze up in my veins and cracked the engine block! Danged good thing that I managed to get up to the Legion Hovel and get 'er fixed whilst it was still slush. Poor old Jerry had his freeze up solid after listening to the doctors. Of course, we followed his last instructions and shoved him in the ice house. We use him to chill the drinks for those who can wait that long, so now he's makin' his friends happy while bein' surrounded by that which he loved so much. And not only that, but we had him skinned and made into a sidesaddle like he also wanted, so that he could be the second and third favorite things in his life.

And how in the heck am I supposed to keep up the Minimum Daily Requirements of the four or five basic food groups if I give up salt, sugar, alcohol, grease (and chocolate)?

I ask you! What are those doctors thinking?