Bobert lies! Here's what really happened...

Bobert was, as he claims, cutting weeds with his new string trimmer. Now, as we all know, string trimmers cut with a monofilament line similar to fishing line. That line is held in a spool on the end of the trimmer shaft and a spoolful is good for about an hour's work before it runs out and needs to be refilled. So, after about an hour's cutting the trimmer ran out of line and Bobert took it into his workshop to refill the spool.

When he took the spool apart, there was about a foot of line left inside it. "Hmmm..." said Bobert when he saw the length of line, "I have an idea!" Now, Bobert had been having trouble with his glasses slipping down while he was working and they had almost fallen off once or twice, so he decided to tie the monofilament scrap to the earpieces so that if his glasses should fall off they would just dangle around his neck instead of falling to the ground and getting chewed up by the trimmer.

Well, somehow, in the process of replacing the string in the trimmer's spool and fashioning the safety lanyard for his glasses Bobert managed to tie the wrong piece of string to the left earpiece of his glasses. That is not a real easy thing for most people to do, but it was simple enough for Bobert. Needless to say, when Bobert cranked the trimmer back up it snatched his glasses from his head and spun them through the weeds at about 1600 RPM which resulted in the scratched lenses.

It also gave Bobert a mild case of whiplash which he was going to bring up next week as soon as he could either come up with a suitably colorful story for how he got the injury or figure out a way to blame it on the Republicans.