Dear Bradypuss,

(I'm everywhere, I'm everywhere . . .)

How does this do ya? If it blasts your bus, I'll put it on the Mudcat Songbook tout suite! -- Áine

Turing Testing Time

Talk to me, baby
Convince me that you're cute
Prove to me you're human
And I will not compute

Turing test me baby
Let me prove I'm real
Chips and ram and circuit boards
Can't tell you how I feel

Joke with me, baby
Make me laugh and hoot
Humour comes with human
So how does this compute?

Twisting, turning, Turing
Megahertz and bytes
Calculating constantly
To put the world to rights

Sing to me, baby
Or play it on the lute
Melody and harmony
Will help me to compute

Stick it into overdrive
Send it through the bus
Computers trying to be human
Sure cause a lot of fuss

Cry to me, baby
Emotion is the root
Of what keeps us human
When we're trying to compute

Twisting, turning Turing
Testing far and near
Computers still can't fool us
At least, not this year!