I once woke up in a sleeping bag in a field in Illinois and found myself face to face with about two hundred big turkeys, coming toward me from a hole in a fence in the nearby farm. They were marching sort of determinedly in my direction, a scarey sight, and being young and inexperienced I wasn't sure if this was a threatening situation or not. But they sure looked big.

I threw on my jeans and shoes and stood up, which gave them pause in their inimical advance.

But every time I backed up, they moved forward as though to head me off. Mad me kinda nervous.

Then I addressed them loudly. "Fellow turkeys!", sez I.

Well, they all began to discuss this in their little groups, gobbling and muttering as to what this might mean, and the discussion among them accelerated. I gave them a few more choice remarks, which prompted more excitement and discussion in their ranks, and in the ensuing confusion my camping partner and I made our escape into the nearby woods.

I never did find out if I was made an honorary member, but I have heard rumors that it was so decided; at least a number of strangers at various times seem to have heard about it, and addressed me accordingly.

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