A word of advice to all songwriters - never try and write a follow up. the record company said , you must know some more famous Germans you could write about!

I suggested paul Schockemoller the horse jumper - but they said no, not even the Germans know about him. What about Bernhardt Lnager, the golfer

Great Chorus

Faster than a fart
Its our Berhardt!

the record company said, no we never heard of him either.

In the months after Rummenigge. I wrote Beckenbauer Beckenbauer (which was truly horrendous and got released on as 12" club mix as well as a 7"). there was also one abot Rummenigge's brother Michael Rummenigge - Michael Rummenigge to the tune of Michael Row the boat Ashore. the Hitler's diary Song which contained the lines

I'm sitting here in me Bunker
Me syphilis is playing me up
Eva let go of me plonker
Put it back in the stredent cup!

Chorus:
Hold on Eva, you'll have to wait
I'm not going nothing
Till i get me diary up to date!

Then came the Boris Becker win at Wimbeldon and we got commissioned to write a piece about Boris - and I wrote a gem called Give her one Boris!

Denise; Boris can you give me one of your tennis balls?
Alan: Give her one Boris! Give her one Boris!
Denise: If you give me one Boris, I'll love you for evermore
Alan: Give her one Boris! Give her one Boris!
Denise: I'll keep it in my bed at night
And when the night is dark and cold
i'll have one of Boris's
Nice little balls to hold

What I mean is none of these songs ever saw the light of day. And I began to realise that the Rummenigge thing was a fluke. probably anybody could have done it. And i had wasted too much of my life like the guy in the peter Cook sketch who spent his life trying to teach ravens to fly underwater.

never write follow ups - just write!