Here are the lyrics, transcribed from the sheet music images at Indiana University Sheet Music Collections:

WHEN IT'S NIGHT-TIME IN ITALY IT'S WEDNESDAY OVER HERE
James Kendis, Lew Brown, 1923

VERSE 1. A rah-rah-rah-rah college boy threw all his books away.
He said, "I've lost my appetite. My hair is turning gray.
I know my Greek and history, and Latin is a pie,
But if east is east and west is west, then won't you tell me why:

CHORUS 1: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When it's fish day in Germany, you can't get shaved in Massachusetts.
How high is up? I'd like to know.
How low is down? And when will we have snow?
If you bump into Gallagher, you'll find that Shean is near.
When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.

VERSE 2. This rah-rah-rah-rah college boy stood up in class and said:
"I looked up my geography and found that Shakespeare's dead.
The reason I speak Portuguese is I'm some clever guy,
But if 'parly voo' means 'how are you', then won't you tell me why:

CHORUS 2: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
Oh, the onions in Sicily make people cry in California.
You drive a horse. I drive a Ford.
That doesn't prove a sailor is aboard.
If you talk to an Eskimo, his breath will freeze your ear.
When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.

EXTRA CHORUSES:

CHORUS 3: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When it's wash day in Picardy, they're eating ice cream cones in Georgia.
Sixteen and four makes thirty-one.
Take eight from five and your day's work is done.
There are people who hesitate, but corn beef makes them cheer.
When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.

CHORUS 4: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When it's Christmas in Albany, they're catching fish in Scandinavia.
That's right; you're wrong. You're wrong; that's right.
Though the days are long, it's always cool at night.
If you can't play a piccolo, the holidays are near.
When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.

CHORUS 5: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When they're dancing in Omaha, the girls don't wear no tights in turkey.
My brother Lou likes oyster stew.
Magazines are read. A china cup is blue.
Should you order some ham and eggs, by the time that they appear,
'Twill be nighttime in Italy and Wednesday over here.

CHORUS 6: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When the wind blows in Louisville, I always dream of Julius Caesar.
Young folks are young. Old folks are old.
Fire is hot, but ice is sometimes cold.
Try and fondle a porcupine, and why is food so dear?
'Cause it's nighttime in Italy and Wednesday over here.

CHORUS 7: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When a train leaves for Buffalo, elephants won't sing songs in Spanish.
You have a peach. She has a pear.
I have aces up, and he has curly hair.
By the time that they pass a bill to bring back wine and beer,
'Twill be nighttime in Italy and Wednesday over here.

CHORUS 8: When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.
When they're bathing in Argentine, don't ever try to milk a herring.
Tall trees are high. No, I don't mind.
Yodel all you like, a mushroom's always kind.
If you haven't an appetite, then think of Paul Revere.
When it's nighttime in Italy, it's Wednesday over here.