I have a probably dopey suggestion, but why not bring in a TV camera, point it at yourselves, and wire it up to the big screen? The picture will be terrible (I am assuming a cheap camera here), but you will get some people who will not watch human beings unless digitized, and the rest will be so unhhappy with the picture quality, they will turn their attention to you. ("Arrgh, what's on? Chirist, it's here!!!!")
just a thought. yours, Peter T.