I probably eat about five or six burgers a year, usually from Burger King or Jack-in-the-Box. Not as a steady diet. I find them quite tasty, but granted, not as good as hamburgers used to be. I don't seriously think they'll do me much harm. I'll be 75 on my next birthday, which is a week from this coming Monday. My weight is right where it should be (actually, I'm a bit slender for my height, but that's fine with me). My pulse is a pretty steady 72 a minute (depending on strenuousness of activity, of course) and the last time my blood pressure was taken (a few months ago), it was 128 over 72.

There is the story of actor Charles Laughton, who used to get together with friends on Sunday afternoons to have a few beers and play cards. Some hardnosed bluestocking neighbor complained to the police, invoking some local blue-law about drinking and gambling on The Lord's Day. Laughton and his friends were convicted and fined (no big deal—about like a parking ticket). Before he levied the fine, the judge, a prissy little twit, felt it incumbent upon himself to give Laughton a moral lecture. He ranted on for about fifteen minutes, saying that Laughton, as a public figure and prominent member of the community, ought to set a better example. As Laughton stood before the bench listening to the judge pontificate, he looked a bit like a schoolboy being reprimanded by the headmaster. But when the judge finally ran out of steam, Laughton, in his best Shakespearean voice, intoned like Falstaff :     "Because Mary is pure, must I be denied my cakes and ale?"

If you don't like 'em, don't eat 'em. By the way, Clinton, how many cigarettes do you smoke a day?

Don Firth