Friend of mine back in the 'hood had a doggie that was part daschund and part greyhound. He'd enter it in dog races and win a lot of money, 'cause the back end was the high end and the dog was therefore always running downhill. He got into a race one time though where the track was on the side of a hill and the other guy's dog had short legs on the right, giving the dog an advantage on the counter-clockwise track. My friend's dog (who was name Bugles) did his best, but he came to the first turn and skidded off the downhill side. Poor old Bugles got to runnin' faster and faster and faster and by the time he reached the bottom he'd plumb wore hisself down to a chihuahua and he ran off and hid to hide his shame.

My friend lost five hunnerd bucks on the race, too. Poor chap had to take an honest job digging out blocked sewers for over a month, and he never was the same after that.