Joe Shlabotnik was a baseball player in the world of Peanuts. Charlie Brown considered Joe his favorite player, and spent much of his free time trying to hunt down Joe memorabilia -- baseball cards, autographs, personal meetings, what have you. Charlie Brown even organized a Joe Shlabotnik Fan Club, complete with a newsletter which folded after one issue. Linus even invited Joe to a testimonial dinner for Charlie Brown; the ballplayer got lost, though, on his way from Shlabotnik's day job at the car wash.

Shlabotnik was demoted to the minors after hitting .004 over an entire season; his one hit was a bloop single with his team comfortably ahead. His greatest achievements included making spectacular plays on routine fly balls and throwing out a runner who had fallen down between first and second.

After being sent down to the Green Grass League, Shlabotnik retired as a player and agreed to manage the Waffletown Syrups. Sadly, Joe was fired after only one game, after calling for a squeeze play . . . with no one on base.

On one Primer thread, a poster speculated Lou Piniella was ready to sign Shlabotnik; surprisingly, this turned out be untrue.