Here's the McCutcheon song I was talking about. I gave the kid the wrong name.

TOMMY DON'T LICK THAT PIPE
(c) 1995 John McCutcheon/Appalsongs (ASCAP) & Si Kahn/Joe Hill Music (ASCAP)

Winter is a-coming
And the weather's getting cold
I have to watch my brother Tom
He's eight years old
I never have to worry
That he'll slip on ice and fall
In fact there's only just one thing
That worries me at all

Tommy, don't lick that pipe
Your tongue will stick like glue
I've warned you twice
And I wish you'd mind
Don't you remember
What happened last time
You can do about anything else that you like
But Tommy, don't lick that pipe

Do you still remember Uncle Albert
Such scientific curiosity
He stuck his tongue out on the old pump handle
It took us two whole days to get him free

Do you still remember Grandma Dawson
She touched her tongue on to a waterspout
She said she thought that it was made of plastic
It took us until May to thaw her out

Do you still remember our dog Fluffy
He went outside to do his doggy thing
We found him frozen solid to a hydrant
We couldn't break him loose until the spring

Profound, isn't it?
-Joe Offer-