I've never visited the various grave sites of the dear departed of my family because they aren't there. They are somewhere else. Their bodies, or whatever is left of them are under the gravestones, but that is all, their being is elsewhere. I'm not even curious about those "resting places" because in my mind the real resting place is heavenly, not earthly. Money was waisted putting these good folks in expensive boxes and planting them, for all intents and purposes, permanently in the ground.

However, of my family, three were cremated at their request as cheaply as possible (which seemed a minor irritant to the funeral home) and the ashes spread in a favourite family place, as a symbolic act of "dust to dust, ashes to ashes", a short Anglican commital service was read by the family while I "disposed" of the ashes. The family visits this place all the time because it is a place of joy for us all, as it was for those lost to us.

"I don't need no headstone on my grave", nor a grave at all to be remembered. As I remember those near and dear who have died, I likewise hope to be remembered. Pictures, memories, acts of kindness, gifts, family traditions, upbringing, love, is all.

Peace, Mooh.